Dating with a mastectomy dating man older relationship
I exercised a fair amount, ate decently, had no issues with cholesterol, didn’t smoke, had terrific blood pressure, family history was a clean slate. I was torn between wanting to know more because I wanted to be informed and not wanting to because I wasn’t sure if I could handle the truth.
Heck, I even got such a great blood panel once my doctor drew an extra smiley face and wrote “Great lipids! The worst issues I had was nearsightedness and braces on my teeth in high school (which combined with my nerdiness led to a healthy deficit in those interested in asking me out.) So when, just a few weeks before my 39th birthday, I felt a mass in my left breast, I figured it was nothing more than a benign cyst. And since I was so young, and so healthy, and had no history of cancer in my family, I left without a mammogram and with a skip in my step. A few weeks after my 39th birthday my gynecologist agreed it was time to take a second and closer look. Look, I’m not going into all I went through in the years to follow, or describe how I will always have this as part of my “new normal” because my story is a lot luckier than that of so many. It is fair that I paid for those sickly people, because all of us are one weird genetic mutation, one bad car accident, one “sent to a meaningless war and got injured” away from needing help. The first time it truly hit me that my mother had cancer was during her first visit to the oncologist.
I do occasionally go out on dates, when I can find the time.
But because of my diagnosis, there’s this extreme pressure to move so fast that I can barely stand to move forward with anyone at all.
Now if only I could tell the guys I’m trying to date that’s what happened, and that’s what I’m really thinking about when they’re telling me about balancing work and life and what kind of music they like over a glass of wine. Especially one that puts a timeline on your fertility on top of everything else.
I always planned for my road to marriage and motherhood to go something like this: Meet the right guy, and date him for a while. But the thing is, and I haven’t really vocalized this before, I’m afraid. How far into getting to know someone, or being in an actual relationship with that person, do you tell them that you had cancer?
Six months before my cancer diagnosis, I found out my husband of over a decade was leading a dark double life. Honestly, my cancer was just the icing on the cake. Good or bad, it’s been a coping mechanism of mine to be able to detach a bit and watch my life from the outside. It’s very difficult to attain when you have curves. I’m 5’ 2” and a size 2 or 4, but by Barbie (or Hollywood) standards I should be a size 0.Talking about your concerns before a mastectomy will make it much easier to talk about what you need after your surgery.I am a survivor of lung cancer stage3 for seven years tomorrow. The additional light provides a brighter, clearer pathway to the tumor – improving the surgeon’s visibility during a lumpectomy and nipple sparing mastectomy.When I exercise, I have a lot of things to worry about. (Side note — reconstructive surgery for breast cancer patients was only covered by insurance starting in 1998.) And let me warn you, my fellow breastless wonders, you are going to hear a whole lot of people saying it’s unfair that they have to be there for you. The topic was briefly discussed in my biology class during my high school days: the cells in the body suddenly have a mind of their own, reproducing at an alarmingly fast rate without the body’s permission, from a faulty gene in the body.